Turning the question around

First the recap: Leaving New York three years ago, leaving my husband twenty years ago. More recently, saying good-bye to X—way more difficult than the man or the relationship deserved, keeping Y (enticing connection that he is) at arm’s length. Why is so much of my psychic work about leaving?

Suppose it’s not about the leaving.

Suppose it is about the destination. What would that mean?

Suppose it’s about finding home. What would that mean?

Gather up these strands:
the subconscious message that you have been hearing a lot lately that you don’t listen enough to your body...
the appeal of health in food, exercise, getting updated medical checkups...
the appeal of yoga, stretching, sauna...
the presence on your bedside table of the Dalai Lama’s book How to Practice...
your inability to continue going to the Episcopal church...it's not a loss of faith...
your delight in a few deepening friendships...
your delight in a couple of romantic possibilities (echoes of that body thing)...
your continuing efforts to make your life simple...
your enjoyment of your home (even cleaning!) and your garden...
the pleasure of writing in various forms and for various audiences...
learning from bloggers, many of whom have a Buddhist inclination...
more? what else is going on?

It's a place to start.