So what did I get?
Awareness that I am well loved in every part of life that counts
Knowledge that the steps I have been taking to improve my self-knowledge and my relationships are on the right path
Gratitude that I have work skills that make me independent, that make it possible for me to maintain relationships that make sense for my emotional and spiritual health, rather than being dragged along by emotional or economic neediness
A quiet expectation that the next twenty years will be the best of my life
Motivations for the next big steps in improvement of my health—Vermont has already been so very good for me
--Overt awareness of sexual joy in my life and the link to my own vitality and attractiveness—I like men, I need men in my life.
--A quiet word from a friend who is diabetic that exercise is the most important tool in preventing the disease
Conviction that the things that well up in us have their right place in the world and that we all have the capacity—with time and attention—to put our selves in order both internally and with respect to the world
Specific strategies for how to deal with a couple of difficult issues in human relationships that now confront me
All this in a few quiet minutes. Not the work of a few minutes, but the culmination of days and weeks of contemplating the advent of Christmas. The roundness and wholeness of it startled me, its contemplative nature melding with resolute knowledge of next steps.
This is the gift that comes from the solitude that I offered myself this Christmas. Thanks! It was just what I wanted.
Here's hoping you get everything you truly want this holiday season and always.