Sick

Often I have been known to intone that the worst thing about living alone is being sick alone, but today I have to take that back. Tucked up in front of my cozy fire, I am replenishing reserves and trying to shake a cold. I made myself a pizza (caramelized onion and goat cheese today, not as interesting as it sounded), took some meds, had a long, hot shower, napped with the dogs, and read three quarters of a murder mystery, and I am feeling better.

Unfortunately, I did have to defer the pleasure of meeting Robert of Beginner’s Mind http://beginnermind.blogspot.com/ and his wife Karen for lunch, but I trust they will be around for some time to come and all the happier not to be infected by me. We are looking forward to chatting on numerous topics, including herb gardens, one of my passions.

Out back where the above-ground pool used to be, I ordered up a truckload of dirt to bring the plot back to level, and I am happily plotting what will go where. This will be a year to have scented geraniums again, and to start collecting multiple varieties of thymes and sages. I love the thought of mixing in attractive vegetables, and I am noodling around what needs to go into pots to take indoors once our short growing season is past. I am thinking about growlights and seed starting, and this all makes me very, very content.

The truth is that I need a lot of unstructured time like this, particularly when I get overtired and overstressed. The psychological folk say it’s because I am an intuitive introvert (INFP if you like Meyers-Briggs). It’s nice to have permission from the world to recharge; all I know is that it is essential for me. I used to be rigorous about taking a couple of hours off during the day any time I had to go to an evening meeting, but having lost that discipline in recent weeks, I feel my energy flagging. From there it is a short step to getting sick. Or getting hurt falling downstairs. Or some other all too physical reminder that I need to safeguard my resources.

Since moving to Vermont, I am far healthier than in years, and I attribute a lot of it to this more measured pace. Still, I was looking forward to lunch with Robert and Karen. I was looking forward to doing something purely social and meeting new people. I was even looking forward to treating myself to new sneakers, my old ones having been sacrificed to Toby’s distress over the whole puppy episode. Who am I to say that’s not their best and highest use? We all need what we need.